Sunday early morn: went to the dept. from 8:30am class. Back home at 5:45pm [just had lunch, could not manage time for a cup of tea] - busy day.
~9pm: I watched a video clip on univ. teachers. I felt speechless n staring at the window. Ruba asked me - what happened. No reply. After a while, I dropped myself to the floor - felt veeeery empty n frustrated n was talking to myself...
Not sure what happened next - I woke up after ~10 hrs in the morning today - on the floor - without any pillow [luckily, I found a MickeyMouse doll under my head]. I was soooooooooooo upset n till now, feeling saaaaad.
I chose to work at DU n worked soooooooooooo hard to score the top so that I could make sure that I can be a teacher at DU. I went to Australia - could move to NZ or USA or Canada for PhD - but returned n joined here. Left for PhD - returned; left for JSPS postdoc fellowship - returned in a situation when one should not. I was inhuman to leave my few months-old Rumaisa n PhD-student Ruba in a place of almost no support. Luckily, Kenji san, Matsuoka sensei & Washim vai were great to be supportive to her. I left when I had offers to work there. My Supervisor surprisingly retorted when I declined instantly '... why do u want to return - whereas nobody returns?' - he gave examples of all the BD students he knew [all examples - no return to BD]. He tried to convince me through the situation of my new-born daughter of few weeks n my wife [who was in PhD study]. I said no. Then he told me to discuss with my wife, then to arrange a meeting with him. I was adamant to return. Talked to Sukhan Zahid Parvez vai for his advice though but I was negative. My wife was so upset on me that she angrily told Rumaisa once that - see, ur father is returning to BD - to be the President of BD!!!
I did not make any meeting - then my Supervisor asked me for a meeting n he asked me what I decided. I was blind. I was blind twice in my life - one for someone & had a real bad state in life; and another for DU.
My sincere reply to him: 'see Sensei! After 2nd World War, many Japanese left Japan to overseas for higher studies n training n they returned n built this beautiful Japan today. I dream to be part of the development of BD, n what I learnt from Japan and from you - I want to give my best try at DU n contribute.'
Truly that was my dream n great great hope. He, with loving gesture, wished me the best n told me whenever u feel to return, inform me. I thanked him. I had 2 more good scopes [as I had good connections mainly].
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